I realize the title may be misleading and make this post sound waaaaay cooler than it actually is. You’ve been warned.
I am an introvert. It’s just who I am. Because of that, I NEED alone time. Not in a – oh I enjoy this and would like to do it if I have time – sort of way. No, in a – I might go insane and copy that lady who just left one day and lived as a homeless person in Key West – sort of way. Since becoming a mom, I have lost my alone time in a way I never imagined.
I obviously lost a lot of my alone time when I had my first daughter, and it took some time to adjust, but since she was the only one, I was guaranteed alone time when she was sleeping or visiting the grandparents. Ever since #2 has been thrown in the mix, I have been walking a thin layer of pudding skin between normal and crazy. I always have one kid with me. In the bathroom, when I’m sleeping (my oldest has started the creepy thing of coming into our room at night and looking at us), in the car, running all errands.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids to pieces and wouldn’t trade staying home with them for anything, I’m just saying it was to the point where I needed a sanity break. I had joked that my dream was to get a hotel room alone for just one night ever since I was still nursing my first. It seemed so magical to be in a room where NO ONE would talk to you. You could lay in bed as long as you wanted. You could watch whatever you wanted on TV. YOU COULD SLEEP IN AS LONG AS YOU WANTED!!! The thought was so wonderful. Usually when my husband would bring it up, I would say “oh no, it’s ok” like a good mom-martyr. But this time he asked and I said YES. I think I surprised him by my response. I guess it will teach him to not ask questions if he doesn’t expect me to take him up on it hehe.
So I did it. I stayed in a hotel room by myself. As I was driving to the hotel (which was like 5 miles from my house) I started thinking the only thing that could make it better was if it was raining. When it’s raining, I somehow feel validated that I’m in bed being lazy. When it’s all sunny and pretty outside, I feel guilty that I’m not out enjoying it. Well this day it was sunny and no rain was in the forecast. Shortly after checking in to my room, the sky got dark and a HUGE rainstorm came! God had already given me my dream night away, He didn’t owe me this. He didn’t owe me any of this. But it just reminded me of how good He is. And even in times we don’t see Him, or feel like we’re unraveling and He’s not doing anything, it reminded me that He will always provide and provide abundantly.
So back to me being lazy and watching TV… I wasn’t sure about this part because I wouldn’t have my DVR, Hulu, etc. What shows would I watch?? I love true crime shows. Like addicted. The First 48 is my favorite. I turned on A&E – nothing. So I did other things, got food, etc. Turned it back…. The First 48 was on… for HOURS!! I did a small dance in my bed… alone (again did I mention I am ALONE – no one asking for food, no one crying, no one asking to watch Daniel Tiger).
Even though this wasn’t something crazy and huge, it made a world of difference for me. I felt refreshed. I felt like I could handle life again. If you feel like you are about to lose it, I highly encourage you to do this. Take just one night to relax alone.
Of course, I couldn’t be away from the fam for too long, so I told them I would allow them to come visit me at my oasis in the morning to swim. But not before 10am. Because I was going to wake up when I wanted and watch HGTV while drinking coffee #heaven